If You Could See Me Now
by CovenantGirlLoki
Summary: For years Arthur has been trying to put words to his feelings towards his parents passing, this year he finally found them. Dom, his godfather, is there to listen. Based on the song 'If you could see me now' by the script. *I own nothing but the idea*


i own nothing

If You Could See Me Now

There was a reason Arthur preferred to be the dreamer rather than the subject. Especially during February. Only one other person knew that reason. Dominic Cobb. His mentor, friend and the only person other then himself who knew what happened four years ago on February the fourteenth.

It was on this date four years later that Dom found Arthur sitting on one of the lounge chairs. He was staring at a sheet of paper in his hand. As Dom approached he knew something was wrong. As a point man its Arthurs job to know every possible detail and that is a rule that he applies not only to his work but to life in general, so for Dom to be able to not only reach his side but to read the first few lines on the paper without alerting the point man's sharp eyes was truly troubling.

"Arthur…is everything alright?" Dom spoke in a low gentle voice.

Arthur's eyes locked with Dom's, revealing an expressing of true pain. "I finished it…the song…but I don't…it doesn't change…" Arthur's voice drifted away as he held out the paper to Dom.

"It sounds really good," Dom assured after a few moments. "Will you play it for me?" he asked gently.

After several heartbeats Arthur nodded and picked up the guitar that leaned against the back of the chair. He took a moment to tune the guitar while Dom pulled the other chair closer. When he was ready Arthur closed his eyes and started the song…

_Oh if you could see me now…_

_Oh if you could see me now…_

_It was February 14 Valentine's Day_

_The roses came but they took you away_

_Tattooed on my arm is a charm to disarm all the harm_

_Gotta keep myself calm but the truth is you're gone_

Dom heard the emotion in Arthur's voice as he remembered that horrible day. He had been sixteen when it happened. His house had been broken into. He remembered his father going downstairs to see what had happened while he and his mother waited in his room. He remembers the gun shot…his mother's screaming…then it goes black.

Three days later he got the tattoo. It was a simple design, angel's wings on either side of his mother's favourite Spanish sain: Por siempre y para siempre. Forever and always.

_And I'll never get to show you these songs_

_Dad you should see the tours that I'm on_

_I see you standing there next to Mom_

_Both singing along, yeah arm in arm_

Arthur's father had always encouraged him to become a professional singer. Arthur and his mother would spend hours singing along to his father on the piano.

After their death Arthur hadn't sung for a year.

_And there are days when I'm losing my faith_

_Because the man wasn't good he was great_

_He'd say "Music was the home for your pain"_

_And explained I was young, he would say_

_Take that rage, put it on a page_

_Take that page to the stage_

_Blow the roof off the place_

_I'm trying to make you proud_

_Do everything you did_

_I hope you're up there with God saying "That's my kid!"_

Despite never really being a religious man Arthur found himself praying that there really was a heaven because, more than anything, he wanted to see his parents again.

His voice changed pace as he sung the chorus, and portrayed the loneliness he felt when he thought of them.

_I still look for your face in the crowd_

_Oh if you could see me now (Oh if you could see me now)_

_Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow_

_Oh if you could see me now (Oh if you could see me now)_

And there it was. The reason he hated the idea of sharing dreams on their death anniversary. Arthur was afraid of seeing his parents there. He was afraid of having their memory destroyed by watching them tear apart his teammates, he was afraid of them turning into his own personal Mal.

_(Oh if you could see me now)_

_If you could see me now would you recognize me?_

_Would you pat me on the back or would you criticize me?_

_Would you follow every line on my tear-stained face?_

_Put your hand on my heart that was cold_

_As the day you were taken away_

Arthur changed after their death. He didn't laugh as often as he used to and his smiles were different. He was different. His heart had turned cold.

_I know it's been a while but I can see you clear as day_

_Right now, I wish I could hear you say_

_I drink too much, and I smoke too much dutch_

_But if you can't see me now that shit's a must_

This took Dom off guard. He knew that _after _Arthur had started drinking, but he hadn't known about the anti-depressions. Arthur had stopped drinking by the time Dom took his god son as an apprentice. Dom could only presume that that went the same for the drugs.

_You used to say I won't know a wind until it crossed me_

_Like I won't know real love 'til I've loved and I've lost it_

_So if you lost a sister, someone's lost a mom_

_And if you lost a dad then someone's lost a son_

_And they're all missing out; yeah they're all missing out_

This made Dom think of Philippa and little James…would they one day sing a similar song about him? No he wouldn't allow it!

_So if you get a second to look down on me now_

_Mom, Dad I'm just missing you now_

'There' Arthur thought, 'I've said it.'

_I still look for your face in the crowd_

_Oh if you could see me now (Oh if you could see me now)_

_Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow_

_Oh if you could see me now (Oh if you could see me now)_

As Arthur sung the chorus Cobb saw the tears gather in his eyes.

_Oh, oh_

_Would you call me a saint or a sinner?_

_Would you love me a loser or winner?_

_Oh, oh_

_When I see my face in the mirror_

_We look so alike that it makes me shiver_

The tears fell.

Cobb knew that behind the calm and collected mask, behind the professional point man camouflage, Arthur craved approval. No, he needed it. He was so insecure of what his parents would think of him, of what he did, that he took all negative criticism to heart.

Arthur didn't have many photos of his mother and father, but thankfully Dom did.

The similarities he and his father shared never stopped to amaze him. They had the same dark hair, same eyes, even the same cheek bones. But it was always the dimples that gave Arthur goose bumps under his suits.

_I still look for your face in the crowd_

_Oh if you could see me now (Oh if you could see me now)_

_Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow_

_Oh if you could see me now (Oh if you could see me now)_

_Yeah I'm just missing you now_

_I still look for your face in the crowd_

_Oh if you could see me now (Oh if you could see me now)_

_Would you stand in disgrace or take a bow_

_Oh if you could see me now (Oh if you could see me now)_

_If you could see, you could see me now [x2]_

Arthur hated the fact that tears were now flowing freeing from his eyes. Hates the fact that throughout the last chorus his voice continued to miss the notes purely because it was too full of emotion. He hates the fact that despite being finished he can't bring himself to put the guitar down and move on…because he's not sure how to move on.

Dom must have realised this because suddenly the guitar was gone and he was crying in his godfathers arms. "I-I miss them- so- much." He managed between sobs.

"Shhh, Arthur, I know. I know. I miss them too." Dom said softly. "Arthur…Look at me." Dom waited until Arthur managed to compose himself enough to obey him. "Your parents would be so proud of you! You are the best at what you do. You are a loyal friend and an incredible singer. Don't let your memories of them be tainted be grief. Remember to smile when you think of them."

Arthur nodded slowly and fought against the new tears in his eyes. "Your right."

"Damn straight I am!"

"Dom?"

"Yeah Arthur?"

"Don't tell Eames, please!"


End file.
